I'm Sorry I Wasn't Strong Enough
by Victoria.Annxx
Summary: Jordan finally destroyed Heidi. She knows she can't do this anymore after what he did. She's sorry to leave everyone behind but she doesn't want to live knowing that Jordan has won the battle for her survival.


This is especially for cassie hamilton 104 who wanted to read the sequels to You're Not Alone. Than you very much for taking the time to read my story cassie and I hope you like these sequels. Anybody else who reads these stories please could you leave a review so I know what people think of them. It would mean a lot. Thank you. :)

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It had been nine months since everything had happened. At the time it was like world war three was taking place between the team and Jordan.

It wasn't supposed to happen like it did. The team were never meant to find out like that, and Jordan should never have found out at all. It was an accident, Heidi had left her phone on her desk and had gone downstairs to help Chase and Lara clean the ropes. Dean and Vince were checking the trucks were fully stocked, Lachie was cleaning the trucks and Michelle was on the phone to the minister. Jordan was supposed to be catching up on the paperwork he had put aside in order to spend time with his new girlfriend and so had a couple of weeks worth to complete. Instead he was texting that same girlfriend and had done nothing in the forty-five minutes that he had been alone in the bullpen.

When Heidi's phone had rung Jordan had looked at it with interest as she never usually received private phone calls at work. Any calls she did receive were on her desk phone. He got up and made sure nobody was looking before picking up and answering. When the person on the other end asked for Heidi he told them she wasn't available and that he would take a message. The message he got wasn't what he expected. He ended the call and turned around in a state of shock, and came face to face with Heidi who had a look of terror on her face, along with anger.

She had shouted at him for answering her phone while he just stood there slowly processing what he had just heard. Heidi's shouting brought the rest of the team upstairs and Michelle out of her office and eventually when everyone was there Jordan revealed what the message was in front of everybody, almost like that was his plan. In a calm voice and with a smirk covering his face he slowly said that her doctor had called and wanted to schedule her three week check up after her miscarriage. As soon as he had said it there was silence in the bullpen. Lara and Vince stood there with mouths open, Chase and Lachie had turned toward Heidi and Michelle had put the phone down on the minister. Dean was the only one who reacted. He swore at Jordan and before anyone knew what was happening he was across the room and had punched Jordan so hard he fell backward and landed on the floor. The punch was hard enough that everyone heard his nose break. Dean then moved back a bit but not to far away, ready to hit him again.

However the next punch wasn't thrown by Dean. Jordan got up and laughing he looked over to Heidi and had said that it was a good thing that 'it', as he called the baby, had died as she would have made a terrible mother. He also added on that if he was 'its' father which he was guessing he was, that he was glad he hadn't had a chance to meet 'it' because he wouldn't have wanted to see how ugly it was. This caused something to snap inside Vince and before Dean had raised his fist to throw another punch Vince almost flew across the room and had his hands round Jordan's throat before anybody knew what was happening.

If Dean, Lachie and Chase hadn't rushed over to Vince he probably would have killed Jordan, not that they would have minded. It just didn't look very good if the station coordinator killed one of the employees. They were all ready to do the same if it weren't for Heidi. It wasn't the way the team should have found out and they were all shocked to witness this side of Jordan; at this moment he wasn't the Jordan everybody knew and loved.

Heidi was in hysterics when the fighting started, because of what had happened and the aftermath. It was the sight of her collapsed on the floor crying in Lara's arms with Michelle hovering protectively over her that made the boys re-evaluate what they were doing, and what made Vince give up trying to kill Jordan.

Dean had made sure that Vince and his brothers were in stable mind-sets and had gone over to Heidi, picked her up from Lara's arms and taken her outside. He found a quiet place and just sat with her in his arms, rocking her and stroking her hair as she cried, gently soothing her. Dean had never seen her in that state before and it shocked him and angered him that they, the team, not just Jordan had contributed to it. They should never have gone after Jordan like that in front of her. She was upset enough by it already and they had gone and made it worse. He sat with her for nearly two hours, and after she had fallen asleep he had taken her back to the station, put her in the break room and had gone to find out what had happened from the rest of the team after he and Heidi had left.

He found out that Jordan had recovered enough to leave on his own and had left the station laughing. Chase had immediately gone down to the locker room and literally emptied everything of Jordan's out of his locker into a rubbish bag and thrown it out the door at Jordan as he was driving away. Jordan had gotten out of his car and looking at Chase picked the bag up and put it in the back seat. He made a move to speak but Chase interrupted him and told him to never come back again. He then turned and walked back into the station and back up to the bullpen where everybody turned towards him after witnessing what Chase had just done. Nobody said anything as they all agreed with what Chase did, instead they all sat down at their respective desks apart from Chase who saw that he had cleared Jordan's locker but missed his desk. This time he picked up the bin and threw everything that was Jordan's into the bin until the only things that remained were the computer and the paperwork that Jordan hadn't touched. He emptied the bin and put the rubbish bag out with the others to be collected by the rubbish truck.

Afterwards he came back upstairs and sat at his desk and cried, not for himself or for Jordan but for Heidi. He cried because he couldn't do anything to help her and because he was upset that he didn't know what was happening to be able to help her through it. She was his best friend and would do anything for her, but at this moment he had no idea what to do. Lachie and Vince had cooled off and Lara was still in a state of shock. They had all gone into Michelle's office and Dean explained to them that yes Heidi had had a miscarriage three weeks ago and yes, the baby was Jordan's. He also told them everything that preceded the miscarriage, and explained to them why they weren't told sooner. After he had finished everybody accepted why Heidi hadn't wanted them to know before, and Chase understood that Heidi hadn't deliberately kept this secret from him, like he feared she had. He was relieved about that and felt better about knowing how to help her now he knew everything. The team had sat in silence after that for what seemed like forever thinking about the events that had just unfolded in the past three hours.

PRESENT

A lot had happened and a lot more was still to come. Following the events Michelle had appealed to the rescue committee board to have Jordan let go from rescue, or have him transferred over to another division. The only division that had a place for him at the moment was in Darwin, and so the committee board had made the decision that if Jordan still wanted a career in rescue he could take this position and start a new life in Darwin. He accepted this and the fact that his new boss would have to know the circumstances of why he was being transferred. He knew this was the only way he could still have a career in rescue but be able to work with a team that didn't hate him. This had made the team feel a lot better and they had moved on from what had happened. But it had taken Heidi a lot longer than them to forget and move on.

After the events, Heidi had become more depressed than she had been before. Four weeks after Jordan had been transferred and the team had become pretty much normal again, Heidi had taken an overdose. She had been by herself at Dean's place (she had moved in after everything happened) because they needed him to work while Heidi was off. It was only part time so he was on call but he had come in to finish some paperwork and had tried calling her several times. She never picked up and so he had taken Lachie and gone home to check on her. They found her in her bedroom on the floor, unconscious but still breathing. A few empty pill bottles were on the bed and when Dean had seen her he had almost stopped breathing. He had rushed over to her and he and Lachie had stabilised her until the ambulance got there. He had gone with her to the hospital with Lachie  
following in the patrol, ringing the team to meet them there.

She was in the hospital for eight days. She was okay to leave after two but they wanted her to stay to have a consult with a psychiatrist. Dean hadn't left her side, and had been there when she eventually told him why she had done it, even though he had already known deep down. The team had been by to see her but apart from Dean she could only speak to Lachie. She needed him to know that she was sorry he had to see her like that and that she was going to get better so it wouldn't happen again. He had held her while she cried and told her that she didn't need to apologize, because he understood. Dean had been outside at the time telling the others that she just needed some time to rest before she saw too many people. They understood, but still were a little worried. Dean knew that they needed to see her themselves in order for them to know she was okay, but they knew that if Dean was with her then she would be fine. They had gone to leave, but Chase stayed behind and had made Dean look at him directly and tell him that Heidi really was okay. Chase trusted his brother to tell him the truth but he had to hear it with Dean looking at him so he knew that he wasn't lying. Dean had told Chase again and this gave Chase enough comfort to be able to leave with Lachie when he had finished seeing Heidi.

That was seven months ago. Heidi had starting seeing someone after that and had gotten better. She had started work again about two months later and since then things had been going pretty well. The team noticed that she was happier than she had been in the past year and were glad to see that the old Heidi was coming back to them. They had also noticed that there were some parts of the new Heidi that had stayed after she had stopped the therapy. She was no longer happy to be alone when treating patients or when the team was out together as she was terrified of Jordan turning up. He may have moved to Darwin but there was nothing stopping him from coming back to Sydney. She had started these problems during the therapy and had found it too hard to go back to normal once the therapy had stopped. Going back to normal for her was going back to a life where Jordan was still part of the team.

Everybody had been fine with it though. They knew that this was Heidi, part new and part old, but still their Heidi and they were just glad that she was back. They accepted that she was a little different, and that she depended on them more than before and nobody complained. From this whole experience everybody had learnt just what loyalty truly was, and what friendship, trust and solidarity really were. It brought everybody closer together and they became more of a family than they thought was possible.


End file.
